Elusive Dream
by White Ogre
Summary: [AU] Why is there so much power with the word "love" that people had to give their own meaning of it every given chance?


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. **

**Elusive Dream **

(**One-shot)**

~O~

"Sometimes, I think of the Sun and the Moon as lovers who rarely meet, always chase, and almost always miss one another. But once in a while, they do catch up, and they kiss, and the world stares in awe of their eclipse."

I've read that beautiful thing once while I was scrolling along the social media.

I immediately jotted it down on my notepad and read it whenever I feel small and blue. It was not something I could directly relate to because I had never been lucky with love, but somehow, whenever I read it, my mood would light up and I found myself smiling again. I've memorized every word by heart. It's like a beautiful melody that tells me there's always hope in love. It was something I truly need, especially since I grew up in an environment wherein almost all male relatives of mine, including my father, are shamelessly unfaithful. I then started developing a phobia of getting attached to a guy which ended up ruining every relationship I was in.

I walked around the four-story ancestral house me and my co-majors were staying. Our class was divided into groups by five during our field trip in Crent Cay—a small island privately owned by the families of the filthy rich who couldn't stand living in an overpopulated area. Each groups of five are separated into host houses, and our group happens to be staying in an old ancestral manor. The house was owned by the Katsus. At the main entrance of the manor you can see two majestic paintings of Shiori Katsu and Raiga Katsu, the original owners of the manor. Unfortunately, they all passed away and the Katsu Manor was now passed down by their only daughter Riona. Although of Japanese descent, everything about the family is foreign.

Strangely enough, we were tasked by our professor in our philosophy subject to write about love. Why is there so much power with the word "love" that people had to give their own meaning of it every given chance?

My eyes wandered along the old dusty hardbound books when I found my way in their library. The mahogany on red oak shelves and book cases looked somewhat scary in the dimming spacious room. I can see the sun slowly setting on one of the large solid bronze windows.

"Won't you turn on the lights? It's already dark." I asked when I saw a maid busily dusting off the center table, my tiny high-pitched voice echoed through the almost isolated room.

Her dark eyes scanned the room before she let out a small sigh. "I'm sorry, miss, but I was instructed by Madame that lights should be turned on at exactly six o'clock." she lifted her left wrist and showed me her watch, her shoulder length red hair falling softly over her shoulder, "It's still five-thirty."

"I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's okay." she smiled, "It just so happened that we've got longer nights and shorter days this time of year. Usually the lights are on before the sun sets."

I smiled back.

"Is there a specific book you're looking for?" she tilted her head slightly to the right, waiting for my answer.

I bit my lip and shifted my weight from one leg to another, "Anything about love…"

"Love? There's a lot actually. What do you need it for?" she started walking along the shelves and I followed her.

"Err… term paper." I reluctantly answered.

She turned on the fifth shelf and lightly traced her fingers along the books that are carefully placed on it. She handed me three heavy books: one with a golden yellow hard bound and the other two, a dark green. "You should probably start with these."

"Thanks." I cradled the books in my arms.

As I headed straight for my room, the thought about writing about love started to invade my mind once again. I opened door and dropped my bag on the floor near the dark blue carpet. I placed the books on and old wooden desk and sighed tiresomely. It's good enough that I had books to refer, basing on my own experiences alone isn't such a good idea. Even though my professor pointed out that we should write from our own experiences and encouraged us to be as opinionated as possible, I still didn't find it acceptable to use mine. Those weren't even "love" to begin with.

I grabbed the golden yellow book and jumped on the bed, bouncing a little, the pages fluttered and a black and white picture fell. I frowned and picked it up. I pulled it closer to my face and a small gasp escaped my lips.

It was a guy.

He was on his side and he briefly turned for the camera—long small nose, hard jaw, smooth features, and long dark locks framing his face. His lips were slightly curved upward as if he's trying not to smile. And his eyes… they were the perfect pair. I could almost see a twinkle in them complementing his somewhat smile.

I wanted to turn the picture around and see if there was anything written behind, but I just couldn't rip my eyes from it. I didn't even realize that my hand was now shaking a little.

"Hoooh!" I let out and forced myself to turn the picture around. On the back, written in a cursive font was a name that for no apparent reason rang through my heart, _Neji Hyuuga._

I flipped the picture back and reached out for the book. My eyes grew wide when I read the first few lines.

_March 19, 1963_

_The wind is cold, but I do not want to close the windows. If I do that, it would really feel like I am imprisoned. The skies with its angry hue of grey and blue felt like it is crying the loneliness I am feeling. Why am I kept here? Why should I hide from people? _

My breath hitched on my throat, along with a slight pang on my chest. Did Neji write this? What does he mean? I flipped another page.

_March 20, 1963_

_Mother gave me a scolding for strolling outside without asking for permission. Grandmother sneered and said it was the beginning of a rebellious act and that I am just like mother. Whatever she meant by that it totally made me feel twice as bad for my existence. _

I let out a hard exhale. I am born lucky, I've got loving parents who cared and supported me through everything. My life is beautiful, but why am I feeling his pain? Why are you like this, Neji?

I flipped through another page, looking for answers, but Neji only writes what he feels, and not all of it too. It's like he wanted to open up through pieces of blank papers, but at the same time he struggled and chose to keep most of the emotions to himself instead. I'm almost half of the journal, and I really want to hug him.

_July 3, 1963_

_It's my eighteenth year, but the doors and windows are still tightly closed. What's it like to be with people? What's it like to make and have friends? What's it like to have someone smile at you? _

I flipped through the pages and found it blank. That was the last entry. What happened?

Two more days. Two more days and we'll be heading back home. I looked outside the window of my room and watched the iron gates. Where is Neji's room? I placed the book next to the lamp on the bedside table and looked at his picture once more. "Tell me more, Neji…" I whispered. I was about to keep his photo away when I heard the door creak and saw Riona. I stared back at her angry orbs, my hand holding the picture in mid-air.

"I…" I began, thinking of words to magically ease down the suddenly heavy atmosphere.

"Where did you get that?" she asked her voice deep and shaking. Her eyes settled on the golden yellow hardbound and she quickly walked fast to it, grabbing it and clutching it close to her chest. Numerous questions raced in my mind, but I couldn't form one.

She sniffed and a small sob escaped her lips, "He hanged himself in his room the day after his eighteenth birthday." Riona gripped her chest, gasping for air. I quickly helped her on the chair next to the bed.

"Thank you." she said, still clutching the book.

"What you just said," I asked, sitting back to the bed, "what do you mean?"

Riona motioned for the picture and I handed it to her. She looked at it lovingly and tear fell from her left eye. She wiped the tear off her wrinkled cheek and looked at me again. "He's my son."

A breath I didn't know I was holding came out from my chest. "Neji?" I asked.

She smiled sadly.

"I gave birth to him at a very young age out of wedlock. My parents were furious. I had an arranged marriage that time and they didn't want the other party to know in fear that they might break ties with our growing business. Neji was kept here, hidden, while I had to pretend that nothing happened." she looked away, her eyes down cast, "I never saw him grow up. I was never once a mother to him. I never knew of his loneliness and his desire to be free for even just once in his life. I too at that time was scared of people knowing he existed. Then on the day after his eighteenth birthday, he…" Riona choked down a sob, "…killed himself."

"I'm so sorry, but reading that, I felt like traveling back in time and meeting him. Just to make him happy even for a day…" I stared at the picture on Riona's hand. I truly do want to do that. "I'm so sorry for such a tragic event in your life."

Riona stood and placed the book on the chair. She approached me and took my hands in hers, "What if there is a way? Will you promise me you'll show him happiness?"

I looked up and frowned, "I don't understand."

"You should probably sleep early tonight." Riona said out of the blue.

"Why?"

Her eyes softened, "I went insane when my son died and the bitter pain of regret killed me slowly each and every day. I went to a witch who people sought for when desperation got the best of them. I told her I want to spend a day with my son. I gave her a fortune and she gave me this." She showed me a small potion bottle, with liquid red as blood. "She told me to drink this."

Riona placed the bottle in my hand, "Take it."

I frowned and examined the bottle, "But what about my group mates? And dinner?"

"I'll take care of everything. Just try and see if it works." she blinked, "You're TenTen right?"

I nodded.

Riona walked to the door and smiled, "Good night, TenTen."

The doors closed and I shakily removed the cork from the bottle. An image of what Neji looked like hanging with a rope on his neck and lifeless flashed through my mind making my heart race like I just ran a marathon. I drank the entire content of the bottle and waited for something magical to happen, but there was none. I sighed and laid on the bed, "She was tricked."

A few seconds passed and I felt my eyelids growing heavy. Before I knew it, I blacked out and fell into deep sleep.

~O~

I woke up with the melodious chirping of the birds and the sun's rays, playfully dancing on my face as the wind blew the curtains. I stirred and groggily opened my eyes. Riona just made me missed dinner. I looked around and my eyes landed on a pair of lavender ones staring straight back at me.

I sat up hurriedly. The person backed a bit on the chair as well, gripping the armrests, both of us surprised.

"Who are you?" I asked, still half asleep. I rubbed my eyes for a moment and looked back at the person who gave me a small smile.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" he asked in a calm and gentle voice, "This is my room."

My vision started to clear and my mind fully awake. Sitting on the chair next to the bed was … Neji.

"You looked like you have just seen a ghost." he said, walking over and sitting down on the bed.

"You," I said in disbelief, "Aren't you a ghost?" _You're dead! _

He smiled playfully and traced his fingers on my arm, giving me a tingling sensation. "Touch me." his voice almost a whisper.

I lifted my hand and poked his nose. Neji scrunched it and closed his eyes. I bit my lip and cupped his cheek. He felt real.

Neji opened his beautiful eyes, capturing me with it once more, "See? I am not a ghost."

"You're not." I repeated, stroking his cheek with my thumb. "Neji."

"How did you know my name?" he asked.

I pulled my hand back and softly replied, "I read your journal…"

"Aah…" he nodded with a smile, "that."

"It's okay that I read it?"

Neji looked at me for a while, "It's fine. What's your name?"

"TenTen."

He blinked, "Heaven eh? That is a lovely name."

"Do you know what heaven's like?" I asked.

Neji shrugged and shook his head.

"Oh." I replied, at a lost for words. My heart was beating painfully in my chest.

He looked at me seriously again, a smile tugging on his lips like how he appeared in the picture, "Can you show me?"

With that I just smiled.

I got up and looked at the clock on the bedside table. 6:15 AM. I don't know what was happening, but I don't want to waste the moment by wondering about the sudden turn of events.

"Are you hungry?

Neji nodded, standing up from the bed. He was wearing dark pants and a loose sweatshirt, his long dark hair falling down on his back and was tied securely in a low ponytail. He looked really handsome.

"Is there something on my face?" Neji asked innocently.

"No." I laughed.

He led me out of the room to the kitchen.

"Where is everybody?" Suddenly the place seemed void of any other human existence.

Neji went over to the table and sat on one of the chairs. "It's always been just me." he spoke silently.

My chest throbbed and I hid my emotions with a forced out laugh, "Silly. I'm here. You're not alone now."

His eyes lit up. "Yes. You are here, TenTen."

I beamed at him.

"I'll prepare you breakfast. What do you like?"

~O~

I was sitting on the sofa in the living room, looking up at the chandelier hanged tastefully at the center ceiling. Neji laid his head on my lap with his eyes closed. I absentmindedly stroked his hair, humming a tune.

"TenTen." he said, opening his eyes.

"What?" I asked, stopping my actions.

He stood. "Wait here, I'll go get something."

A minute later, he returned with a saxophone.

He winked at me and started playing a slow melody. The room dimmed and I looked out to see the sun setting. My hand curled into fists and tears started falling from my eyes. Riona said she just asked for a day to be with Neji. A day. A day! Neji didn't stop playing and started to cry too. He kept his eyes closed as if he's pouring everything into the instrument.

The day went by like a breeze. It was not enough at all. Neji took me to his favorite places in the manor. He showed me the books that he read over and over again. He told me about his dreams and his wishes, how he viewed life and the small pleasures that make his days. He asked a lot about me and I told him everything. He laughed and smiled brightly at my stories and never once spoke about loneliness.

The melody changed into something heartbreaking. I started to sob. The day is almost over.

Neji's performance ended soon after and he smiled shyly at me, wiping his tear-stained face. "I got carried away. I'm sorry."

I shook my head, wiping my face with my shirt and then clapped my hands, "That was beautiful. I got carried away too."

He placed his sax on the glass topped table and walked over to the sofa. He sat beside me and buried his face on the crook of my neck. "I'm not really hungry. Are you?" he muttered.

I shook my head. I couldn't form words. The pounding on my chest was loud enough for it to be deafening and fast enough for it to be painful.

"Then," he grabbed my hand, "let's go back to my room."

~O~

The ticking of the clock on the bedside table and our synchronized breathing were the only things that could be heard in the room. I looked around and wondered where he possibly hanged himself. The thought pierced, but I can't help it. For the first time since I stayed in that room, I looked up and there in a ceiling fan chandelier, a rope. It was cut, but the material still hung. I couldn't take my eyes away from it. Suddenly I felt his arm on my face and I couldn't see.

Neji moved closer beside me on the bed. I felt his lips gently brushing my ear, "Don't." he whispered.

I shifted and turned to him, burying my face against his chest. "You're dead." I sobbed.

"Shh…" Neji said as he rubbed my back soothingly, "Sleep now, TenTen. It's getting late."

I looked up, no longer embarrassed with my tears and snots and pathetic emotions, "I don't want to sleep."

"You have to."

"But you will no longer be here when I wake up."

He poked my nose, "I will be here."

I shook my head, "No!"

Neji sighed and smile sadly, "Tomorrow…" he paused, "Tomorrow will be a new day for you." He wiped my tears away. "When you go back home, all the memories you made here, leave it here and move forward. I can no longer be with you, but I am more than thankful for this day. Now it's time for you to sleep. When you wake up, be happy okay?"

I sobbed uncontrollably, gripping his shirt. I want to hug him close and smell his scent once more, but I want to look at his face too. "Don't let this be just a dream, Neji. Please." I begged, "Please."

He wiped my face again and cupped my cheeks. He laughed lightly, "Look at you. You don't look cute at all."

I laughed and gripped his nose. Neji pulled away and smiled.

He stroked my cheek and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead, "Good night, TenTen. Thank you."

I gasped, feeling weak; darkness slowly engulfed me despite my protest.

~O~

The rays of the sun hit my face, making me groan. My alarm turned off and my phone started ringing like crazy. I opened my eyes and found myself alone in the room. I stayed lying on the bed, not moving, staring into space. My phone stopped ringing. I weakly got out of bed and took a shower. I changed into fresh clothes and my eyes landed on the golden yellow hard bound book. I took it and opened to the last entry. I was shocked to see a new one.

_I've experienced things I thought I would never experience at all—happiness, warmth, friendship, and love. I feel at peace now… _

There was no date. His photo was tucked on that page. I took it and looked at it with tears brimming on my eyes. I closed the book when I heard a knock on the door.

"TenTen?"

"It's open." I called out, running over a mirror and quickly fixing my face.

The door opened revealing one of my group mates, "How are you feeling? You stayed in bed the whole day yesterday. We were told at dinner the other night that you weren't feeling well. You missed a lot. We visited horse barns."

_I slept the whole day? _I smiled at him. Lee as usual was wearing his all-time favorite green spandex and was sporting a bright smile. "I feel much better now."

"Good, cause we gotta get going. The bus will be here at—"

I cut him off, "My bags are ready, I didn't really unpack them. We can hang out in your room."

"Sure." he smiled and helped me carry the other.

"Oh, I forgot. You can go ahead. I'll return these books first."

Lee nodded, taking my other bag.

"Hurry up I've got plenty of things to tell you about our tour yesterday."

"Okay, Lee."

Lee closed the door and sadness washed over me again. I took the books and forced myself not to open the golden yellow one and gaze at his picture once more.

I blinked rapidly as I walked to their library, feeling a lump on my throat. It's hard to breathe and every inch of the place reminded me of how happy his smile and laughter was yesterday.

I reached the library and saw the same maid and Riona talking. They became aware of my presence as I walked up to them. "Good morning." I greeted, "I'm here to return the books."

"Well, can you please take care of these?" Riona asked the maid and she nodded, automatically taking it away from my hands. My eyes followed Neji's journal until the maid rounded to the book shelf.

"How was it?" Riona asked.

I smiled, "It was beautiful. He doesn't hate you at all."

A tear escaped from her eyes and a beautiful smile graced her face. She hugged me. "Do you want to visit him? We can go there right now and bring fresh flowers."

I shook my head, "I don't have much time. My co-majors and I would be leaving. Thank you so much for your care." I looked down, "I will find my way there soon. I will visit him soon."

She smiled, "Be well."

"You too."

~O~

The leaves on the trees gracefully swayed along the wind. It's been seven years since I last set foot on Crent Cay. I stood in front of his gravestone, feeling both pain and happiness.

_Neji Hyuuga_

_July 3, 1945 – July 4, 1963_

_So young. So soon._

"Hey." I said awkwardly. I placed my hands inside the pockets of my golden yellow sun dress. "Thank you for letting me get to know you… even for just a small while." I looked up and sniffed, steadying myself. I took in a huge a mount of air and shifted my weight from one foot to another, "I will come visit you more often. So wherever you are, I pray you're happy too."

I crouched down and touched his gravestone. A sparrow flew right on it carrying a heliotrope flower. The bird placed it on his gravestone before flying freely into the sky.

I smiled and took the flower. A heliotrope means "eternal love".

"Eternal love." I spoke, looking up at the clouds. The story of the Sun and the Moon's eternal love replayed in my mind and I smiled, "You are my sun. I hope that at some point in life, we will meet share happy days again. I will never forget you, Neji."

~O~

**Thank you for spending your time reading a little of my work! -****-White Ogre****  
**


End file.
